


I'm going to be alone and I'm terrified

by charlieboy



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Cute, F/M, Panic Attacks, be warned if ur triggered pls, graphic depictions of anxiety attacks, just dee being a rlly rad sweet caring babe, no kissing or anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 01:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7869169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlieboy/pseuds/charlieboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie has another panic attack and Dee helps him through it</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm going to be alone and I'm terrified

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having a shit ton of anxiety about going away to college in like, six days. fuck me up. anyways this is rlly cute and i wish i had a dee friend to take care of me lol. 
> 
> but PLEASE please, if ur easily triggered or have trouble reading anxiety stuff, please be careful and practice self care kids. lemme know if i forgot any tags/if anyone want me to just add any

Charlie ended up on Dee’s doorstep again. This had unfortunately happened many times before. He was slumped all the way down the wall sitting on the floor, mumbling and slowly banging his head against the door, half conscious hoping Dee would hear him. 

Dee had been trying to sleep all night but for some reason she couldn’t. Some may have called it a sixth sense or something but she knew something was up, so instead of trying and continuing to fail to sleep, she stayed up and tried to mindlessly watch tv.

She heard the soft banging a little after four a.m., and she sprung off her couch immediately. She pulled open the door, electricity tingling in her fingers, almost as if a warning. When she pulled open the door, she saw Charlie, on the floor and he was already mumbling over and over, “hey dee.. hey dee- hey dee, hey dee... hey -hey dee,” not noticing she had just opened the door. 

She grabbed under his arms and helped pull him up, noticing he was shivering and sweating through his sweater at the same time. She was already worried but that had grown - it hadn’t been this bad in a while. 

\--

Charlie had panic attacks a lot. Sometimes because of huffing certain inhalants and accidentally overdosing, sometimes just completely out of the blue. 

He had tried to stay at home and wait them out, scared out of his wits thinking he was terminally ill and about to dying any second. Frank, if he was home that night, never knew how to handle Charlie’s anxiety. He had tried to take Charlie to the hospital, Charlie would start balling and say it wouldn’t help and to just leave him there to die. Frank had tried to give him anxiety pills he had left over from the time Sweet Dee had a heart attack and he had the Doc’s prescribe him the real good top quality shit, but again Charlie said he couldn’t swallow and he would just end up puking his guts out if he tried. Whatever it was that Frank tried, he just generally made things worse. It wasn’t necessarily his fault, of course the extra panic made Charlie feel worse, but he just didn’t know what to do.

The first time Charlie had come to Dee, totally freaking out; he was really bad. She had known what to do though. She was gentle and got him water, forcing him to take at least one sip. She simply held him as he sat on her bathroom floor, crying. Eventually it passed and she helped him to her bed, taking off his sweater and soaked shirt. Luckily she had an extra t-shirt that fit him. She told him things were going to be fine, that it was over now. Still shaking, he fell right asleep. She put the water next to him and stayed up all night, lying next to him and only fell asleep after he had stopped shaking and sweating.

Sometimes he would ramble on. He had once explained what it was like. He didn’t exactly understand what was going on, but he felt like he was dying. He felt cold and hot at the same time, he felt nauseous, he felt like everything was going to end right then. He would go on, but wasn’t always able to be understood. Other times he didn’t speak at all. Very few times, he had vaguely gone on about the Nightman. Charlie didn’t say much, but Dee inferred. She hated Uncle Jack for hurting Charlie, not knowing the full picture, but knowing he wasn’t just another ‘mean Uncle.’ 

During the episodes, Charlie he had paced back and forth, pulling at his hair, biting his nails, picking at his skin. He had sobbed the entire time but usually not. They had been painfully long, lasting all night, and on good nights they had been quick. He told her his thoughts would race and that he really hated these feelings. Sometimes after he fell asleep, he would wake up screaming and the whole ordeal would start again. He didn’t have them super often but usually always at night. If he had them in the day and was at the bar, he was quiet and wouldn’t drink his beer. Thankfully, Dee would notice most of the time and take him into the bathroom and bring a glass of water. She held his hand and waited it out with him. Sometimes Dennis joined them. Frank and Mac didn’t ever join though because they both got too nervous, especially Mac. Apparently Charlie had experienced some anxiety attacks when they were kids and Mac, like Frank, didn’t understand and wasn’t sure what to do. He just wanted Charlie to be okay.

Other times Charlie would stay in bed and Frank would call Dee to come over. Charlie appreciated the company/support Dennis showed but preferred to just have Dee. Having too many people only increased his panic.

Every now and then, Dee found it helped him if she told him a story, or distract him by drawing and have him watch. In the past she had told him some jokes and gotten him to laugh weakly. She had done some of her characters for him, trying to help take his mind off of the crippling senses he was going through. Even if he didn’t understand her comedy, he might smile because he thought she was so weird and made him giggle.

 

\--

This time, once they got into the bathroom, he was quietly crying. As they sat down, he started blubbering about how he wasn’t ready for everyone to die. He didn’t want everyone to leave him. He said he couldn’t be alone. He told Dee he wishes his brain could block out this kinda shit instead of important things he should remember. 

Charlie started to cry and Dee held him tight, rocking them slowly back and forth. She hoped it would go away soon. She felt awful he went through this stuff but understood it happened to a lot of people. 

When his crying slowed down and he was just sniffling and the tears had slowed down, his face soaked, she jumped up and turned her shower on. She turned it up as hot as it would go - the steam helping Charlie come back to earth and realise where he was and that he was safe.

She came back in seven minutes with steaming tea, but Charlie was dead asleep. He had moved to the floor and was curled up into himself. Dee placed the tea on her sink counter and heaved him out of the bathroom and onto her bed. Ritually, she pulled his sweater off and his t-shirt. She got out the ragged yellow t-shirt and put it on him. She tucked him in and kissed his forehead. She changed into her pajamas and turned off the shower. She dashed back into her bedroom and went to the opposite side of the bed and hopped in. 

Dee snuggled up in her blankets and whispered, “goodnight Charlie, I’m glad you’re okay. Love you,” and stayed half awake until he seemed to calm down completely. Dee woke up a handful of times through the night just to make sure he was still asleep and not awake staring at the ceiling, out of his own body and fully drained of energy from earlier. 

Dee was really thankful for being the one Charlie came to. She had helped Dennis through times similar to this before, but eventually he said he was fine being alone and that she was a useless bird most of the time. Everyone in the gang was sensitive, but Dee had grown to be a strong woman with a heart strong enough to hold them together in times of extreme emotions. She was glad she had one of the most important roles in the gang, even if no one mentioned it out right.


End file.
